It’s time for a 20 week bumpdate (see what I did there 🙂 )! This past Wednesday marked 20 weeks with our little one. In normal pregnancies, this would flag the halfway mark. For us, we hit the halfway mark at 18.5 weeks. Both my OB and MFM (maternal-fetal specialist) along with Paul & I have decided that we will induce between 37 and 38 weeks. Babies are considered full term at 37 weeks. Originally, Paul & I were not sure about inducing at 37 weeks because it felt very early to us. We spent some time talking with both doctors and expressed our concerns. But ultimately, the rewards out weighs the risk to all of us. We do not know what went wrong with Cora but we do know that something happened between the 36 and 37 week. We are not sure if my body has trouble sustaining pregnancies after 36 weeks or if it was a “one time” thing. But we won’t risk it again so we will be inducing sometime between the 37-38 week with heavy monitoring in those last weeks. I want to stress that if you are going through something similar, talk with your doctor(s). Express all of your concerns to them and make sure you are comfortable with the decisions being made.
Now back to our bumpdate. We had two appointments last week: one with our OB and one with your MFM specialist. First up, our 20 week appointment with my OB. This appointment was a lot of fun! I pretty much live at the doctor’s office so I’ve become close with a lot of the staff which makes things easier…especially while sitting in a room with your belly exposed & someone running a wand over it for 30+ mins. Crockett was very active during the sono so I got to see him twist and turn all over the place . At one point it looked like he was waving at us and the sono tech said “Look! He’s got a great Miss America wave going on” and right away he elbowed her hand twice which made us giggle. Okay little man, it was a tough guy wave :). Crockett was measured for everything possible as well as checking the placenta, cord insertion, and cord blood flow. He passed every test and his growth looks great! He has doubled his weight since our last appointment to a whopping 12 ounces. He looks so big on the screen but the weight always brings me back to reality, he is so tiny right now.
After the sonogram I met with my OB. My doctor & her nurse are some of my favorite people in the world. They make me laugh so much. My doctor informed me that they found two fibroids in my uterus during the sonogram. My reaction: of course. I swear, every time I’m in there something else about my uterus comes up. Crockett’s going to be able to sue me for a hostile uterus environment one day. She assured me that they are very tiny (less than 1 centimeter) and they should not interfere with the pregnancy. I skeptically said “okay” and told her she’s starting to remind me of the doctor from Baby Mama that tells Tina Fey he doesn’t like her uterus. This made us giggle and she thanked me for my humor. Its the only way I deal with things….thank dad!
The following day I went to our MFM specialist. These appointments always leave me with mixed feelings. It is not a particular fun place to visit, a lot of people that go to the MFM are on edge or hoping not to receive the worst news that day. It’s scary and you can usually feel that energy when you go. This has nothing to do with my doctor or the sonographers at the office, it just a matter of fact. No one really wants to go to the specialist because it means there is a greater risk of a bad outcome. This particular visit started off rough. They brought me into the room for a fetal non-stress tests. I was confused about this because I was not put in this room until I was over 30 weeks with Cora. It was apparent that I was not as far along as the other mommies in the room but I went with it. They started hooking me up and “couldn’t find his heartbeat” so the poor nurse was sticking the monitor frantically all over my belly. I calmly told her he’s usually on my left side. At this point the other moms in the room were starting to shift in their chairs uncomfortably while their baby’s heartbeats were loudly playing in the room. It took all I could muster not to scream “HE’S FINE”. Luckily, I’d heard his heartbeat at home before I came and could feel him moving at that moment so that helped me keep my cool. I calmly told the nurse that I was 2o weeks along and she double checked my chart. They had it on the wrong page, most likely a page from Cora’s pregnancy that said I was farther along than I am.I was never supposed to be there in the first place.
This type of incident is what brings all of those “beautiful” pregnancy feelings crashing back down to Earth. It brings on traumatic and panic-attack type feelings. If I hadn’t heard his heartbeat 30 minutes earlier or if I couldn’t feeling him kicking around I would of had a meltdown. Right there in front of those other moms. And I probably would of ripped someone’s head off for being so dumb as to not check the chart correctly. BUT that behavior never gets anyone far and these ladies are doing their best. I have to go to this doctor for 17 more weeks so I’d rather not piss anyone off. I just kept telling myself he’s kicking, it’s okay. Stay calm.
They quickly got me into an exam room and the sonographer came in immediately. I don’t know if this was to sooth me or to double check he still had a heartbeat. Probably both because I’m usually waiting in that room for about 10 minutes. Once hooked up, he was doing his usual morning calisthenics. I swear, mornings are his jam. He constantly parties in the morning! This appointment we double checked all of his growth and compared it to last month. He’d grown well in all categories and they confirmed his stout 12 ounce weight. We spent a lot of time checking the placenta and his cord. It looked like he was using the placenta as a pillow…just laying his head right on top of it. He continued to wiggle the entire appointment. The sonographer called him a “wild man”, hehe! My MFM doctor came in next to continue with the sonogram and confirm everything the sonographer saw. He said Crockett is growing like a weed and couldn’t be more pleased with his progress. He also checked on my mental health. I love that he does this each appointment because he reminds me at this point to not be polite nor to sit at home scared if I think something is wrong. I told him if/when I become upset, he’d know it :).
The 20 week scan was the appointment that we found out Cora was measuring small & that my uterus is heart shaped so I had a lot of anxiety leading up to this appointment. Some of that has been calmed but it will always be there. No matter how great he’s growing, we’re constantly reminded that something else could happen. Or something else could pop up in my dang uterus. But we have to have faith over our fear.
Last week, Paul woke up from a dream and said “we’re still pregnant, right?”. I said yes, of course. He’d had a nightmare that we lost Crockett. The dream was so real and scared him so much. I could tell by looking at him that he was still convincing himself that we were still pregnant. I quickly got the heart monitor and we found him. We listened to his heartbeat for a few minutes to calm us down and comfort us. Even though it was his dream, it knocked the breath out of me. It hurts me that he suffers this much just as much as he hates to see me suffer. But I have the luxury of feeling Crockett kick so I have an assurance that Paul does not always get. It breaks my heart we have moments like this but it is our reality so we continue to support each other and lean on each other. Our little man is getting stronger each day and for that we are so grateful.
Thank you to everyone who has prayed over us or asked how we’re doing these past 2o weeks. Your thoughtfulness and kindness is never lost on us. The support we have received lifts our hearts and strengthens our minds. I hope you enjoy some of the latest pictures of our growing boy!
This is a video of the sonogram at our specialist. They give us a video each time of the entire sonogram which I treasure. They are the only visual proof I had of Cora when she was still alive and I am thankful to have each one of Crockett. In this video, you can see him playing with his hands in front of his face before they take his heart rate. It’s incredible what they get up to in the womb!