I still find Cora in the light. I feel her when I sit in the warm sun. I hear her when the boys break out into giggle fits. I see her running with them around the backyard. I see good things happening in the world and I think of her. She is ever-present in our lives. She is our first born. She is our daughter. She is the reason we lead with courage and kindness. She is our reason we chose the light over the darkness.
Cora’s 3rd Birthday is two weeks from today. This is such a weird time of year for me. My birthday as well as my son’s birthday both take place in March. It is such a happy time. A time for celebration. A time of joy. And then abruptly, the feelings change. I start to see… Continue reading Cora’s Kindness – Diaper Drive!
One in Four women will experience pregnancy loss. It is a fact. A terrifying and deeply saddening fact. I know that I am proof of this statistic. The year I was pregnant with Cora, I had 3 other friends who were pregnant. Literally, I was the 1 in 4 in that group. I remember thinking… Continue reading One in Four.
It has been a while since I have written a post. This is in part due to being a new parent and having zero clue how to budget out my time. This is also in part to the emotional toll is takes to write a post. I usually write a post and its a huge… Continue reading Parenting Paradox
There is an unexpected grief I have been introduced to. Grieving the loss of who I used to be. My daughter died. I am different now. I am not the same person. How could I be? There is a need to fix things once you have been broken. Glue all the pieces back together. Maybe throw… Continue reading The Unexpected Grief
This is by the far the hardest post I’ve written in the past twelve months. It has been a full year since my heart was broken in the cruelest way. It has been twelve months since I gave birth to my daughter, my firstborn, the child who made me a mother. Twelve months since I’ve… Continue reading Month 12: Have Courage & Be Kind (Part 2)
Today marks 11 months since losing Cora. I have also reached 37 weeks pregnant with her brother. I have passed my point of loss of 36 weeks 6 days. We have spent much of this past month preparing our hearts and minds for the delivery of her brother. But at the same time, she has been on my… Continue reading Month 11: Preparing our Hearts and Minds
I was not sure what to write about with this month falling in January. My only resolution lat year was to have a baby. Well yes I did have a baby but she was not alive when she was born. So, this year I will have the same resolution, just now need to add the… Continue reading Month 9: A Portrait named “Cora”
It has been 7 months. We should have been celebrating Cora’s first Halloween and picking out cute costume(s) for her to wear. Instead, I packed up all of her clothes in the nursery. It was a very emotional and heart wrenching thing to do. I kept them out in case we were having another girl… Continue reading Month 7: Packing up.
A conversation I’ve thought of over and over again occurred before Paul & I drove back up to the hospital to be induced. We had been wondering around the house, in shock, trying to process what was about to happen. I was sitting on the edge of our couch, both of us were in tears… Continue reading Month 6: Have Courage & Be Kind (Cora’s Rules)