One in Four women will experience pregnancy loss. It is a fact. A terrifying and deeply saddening fact. I know that I am proof of this statistic. The year I was pregnant with Cora, I had 3 other friends who were pregnant. Literally, I was the 1 in 4 in that group. I remember thinking… Continue reading One in Four.
It has been a while since I have written a post. This is in part due to being a new parent and having zero clue how to budget out my time. This is also in part to the emotional toll is takes to write a post. I usually write a post and its a huge… Continue reading Parenting Paradox
There is an unexpected grief I have been introduced to. Grieving the loss of who I used to be. My daughter died. I am different now. I am not the same person. How could I be? There is a need to fix things once you have been broken. Glue all the pieces back together. Maybe throw… Continue reading The Unexpected Grief
This is by the far the hardest post I’ve written in the past twelve months. It has been a full year since my heart was broken in the cruelest way. It has been twelve months since I gave birth to my daughter, my firstborn, the child who made me a mother. Twelve months since I’ve… Continue reading Month 12: Have Courage & Be Kind (Part 2)
Today marks 11 months since losing Cora. I have also reached 37 weeks pregnant with her brother. I have passed my point of loss of 36 weeks 6 days. We have spent much of this past month preparing our hearts and minds for the delivery of her brother. But at the same time, she has been on my… Continue reading Month 11: Preparing our Hearts and Minds
Cora was born at 36 weeks 6 days. But she was born still, “sleeping”. The exact date of her passing…I cannot be sure. That unknown has haunted me for the past 10 months. How could I, her mom, not know when she died? HOW? I still have trouble wrapping my brain around it. It hurts.… Continue reading Month 10: Past the point of loss.
I was not sure what to write about with this month falling in January. My only resolution lat year was to have a baby. Well yes I did have a baby but she was not alive when she was born. So, this year I will have the same resolution, just now need to add the… Continue reading Month 9: A Portrait named “Cora”
8 months seems impossibly long and incredibly short. This holiday season has come on fast and at times it has been overwhelming. It feels like I was just writing about month 7 but the nothing, not even the holiday hustle, stops for grief. As I wrote last week, we’ve had some rough days this holiday… Continue reading Month 8: Remembering You
This past weekend, we busted out our Christmas decorations & Christmas Spotify playlists. Naturally, Kelly Clarkson is at the top of my playlist along with Pentatonix, NSYNC, Christina Aguileara, & Mariah Carey. If you do not know my age…I think my playlist will give it away. If only they had Spice Girls Christmas carols! Okaaay,… Continue reading Let your heart be light.
It has been 7 months. We should have been celebrating Cora’s first Halloween and picking out cute costume(s) for her to wear. Instead, I packed up all of her clothes in the nursery. It was a very emotional and heart wrenching thing to do. I kept them out in case we were having another girl… Continue reading Month 7: Packing up.