One in Four women will experience pregnancy loss. It is a fact. A terrifying and deeply saddening fact. I know that I am proof of this statistic. The year I was pregnant with Cora, I had 3 other friends who were pregnant. Literally, I was the 1 in 4 in that group. I remember thinking… Continue reading One in Four.
It has been a while since I have written a post. This is in part due to being a new parent and having zero clue how to budget out my time. This is also in part to the emotional toll is takes to write a post. I usually write a post and its a huge… Continue reading Parenting Paradox
There is an unexpected grief I have been introduced to. Grieving the loss of who I used to be. My daughter died. I am different now. I am not the same person. How could I be? There is a need to fix things once you have been broken. Glue all the pieces back together. Maybe throw… Continue reading The Unexpected Grief
Today marks 11 months since losing Cora. I have also reached 37 weeks pregnant with her brother. I have passed my point of loss of 36 weeks 6 days. We have spent much of this past month preparing our hearts and minds for the delivery of her brother. But at the same time, she has been on my… Continue reading Month 11: Preparing our Hearts and Minds
I always knew I was going to have a Harry Potter nursery. I have always said, if I’m going to be in there at 3 am changing a poopy diaper or soothing a crying baby, it better be my happy place :). Luckily, Paul likes Harry Potter too so he doesn’t mind! Another thing about… Continue reading A Nursery for Two
8 months seems impossibly long and incredibly short. This holiday season has come on fast and at times it has been overwhelming. It feels like I was just writing about month 7 but the nothing, not even the holiday hustle, stops for grief. As I wrote last week, we’ve had some rough days this holiday… Continue reading Month 8: Remembering You
It has been 7 months. We should have been celebrating Cora’s first Halloween and picking out cute costume(s) for her to wear. Instead, I packed up all of her clothes in the nursery. It was a very emotional and heart wrenching thing to do. I kept them out in case we were having another girl… Continue reading Month 7: Packing up.
A conversation I’ve thought of over and over again occurred before Paul & I drove back up to the hospital to be induced. We had been wondering around the house, in shock, trying to process what was about to happen. I was sitting on the edge of our couch, both of us were in tears… Continue reading Month 6: Have Courage & Be Kind (Cora’s Rules)
Grief…it is a tricky thing. When you google “grief” there are countless resources at your fingertips to help you. I did not spend a lot of time planning out my grief…how can one really do that? My plan was (and still is) to feel everything coming at me. To not deny any feelings or sweep… Continue reading Month Five: Am I doing this right?